There is a desire deep in the heart of every human for their life to be valued. We want our lives to have meaning and purpose and for our existence be treasured by others. If we don’t show up somewhere, we want people to miss us. “Did you see James at church today? I was really wanting to talk to him about something.” I doubt that anyone at my church said this on a recent Sunday morning when we were traveling, but part of me really wishes someone did. I want to matter and for people to miss me if I’m gone. I’ve often gone to funerals and wondered if this many people will come to my funeral. I’m sure I’m not the only person to do this. No? Just me?

We all want to be needed, to maybe even be seen as irreplaceable. “If I can just be swapped out with the next person who comes along, then am I even worth anything?” We come on this earth with nothing, and it is sure that we will take nothing with us. “If I can at least leave a hole in my loved ones’ hearts and in my community, then I will have evidence that my life was not in vain.”

But what if our aspirations to be irreplaceable is wrong? Could the desire to be needed and remembered actually be damaging both to ourselves and to others?

Our want to be irreplaceable can often lead to an inflated idea of our own importance. We then come to church or to work with our chests puffed out, thinking how this place would certainly crumble if we weren’t here. We could be right, but we probably aren’t. It might take some time to adjust to our absence, but we wouldn’t be the first people who thought they were irreplaceable who were replaced.

Seeing yourself as irreplaceable can lead to you taking on more responsibility than you should. This can then cause you to become overwhelmed and begin harboring frustration and cynicism, which then works directly against your aim to be needed by others. Resisting delegating to others can breed passivity in those around us. There is no need for anyone else to step up and accept responsibility when I am doing everything myself and not giving anyone an opportunity to learn and grow.

When we try to make ourselves irreplaceable we often work against preparing the next generation to come after us. We give little to no chance for others to contribute. By the time I leave my job or this life, I should have prepared a replacement to pick up where I left off. This ensures a smooth transition of responsibility that reduces the chances for uncertainty and confusion.

It might seem that delegating and letting others do the work you see as your responsibility is being lazy and is taking the easy route. The opposite is true. It is often easier to do it yourself than to train and mentor someone who has never done something before. Making yourself replaceable requires a view to the future instead of living in the present. A bit more work now will result both in you being less overwhelmed in the future and in another person with the ability to do what you can do.

The most deadly effect of seeing ourselves as irreplaceable is that we are placing ourselves higher than we ought. This leads to pride both in our position and our ability, and it makes us feel that we are more skilled and more valuable than others. We might even resist transferring our knowledge and experience to others because that will lessen our impact and perceived value to others.

The irony is that the most impactful and valuable thing we can do is to teach others what we know. I can only do so much in 24 hours and can only be in one place at a time. Training others until they can replace us is the only way we can overcome our physical limitations of time and space. While Jesus was on earth He had the same physical limitations that you and I have. Yet, His followers spread over the known world in only a few years. How did this happen? Because He enabled others to spread the gospel.

We are tempted to see ourselves as expertly crafted and irreplaceable works of art, when we should be striving to make ourselves as replaceable as a bolt. This is not to say that each person is not unique and shouldn’t be valued as such in the eyes of God and of others, but that we shouldn’t see ourselves as more valuable and special than others. If we do, we risk setting ourselves up as an idol in our own hearts.

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:1-4 NKJV